1. Calhoun O'Connell
2. Derek Volkov
3. Tony Moore
4. Bjorn Erikson
5. Adam Lowski
6. Jenki Follesdal
7. Baldr Leifson
8. Eirik Ihaven'tcomeupwithalastnameforhimyetson
9. Hallthor Alsodoesn'thavealastnameson
10. Dunraz Thorulfssen
11. Moongorm Yeahihaven'tthoughtofalastnamessen
12. Grethe Doesn'thavealastname'causeshedoesn'tneedone

1. Who would make a better college professor, 6 or 11?
. . .MOONGORM. Even though he'd be like "When I was your age, we didn't have all these fancy pencils, or these lightbulbs, or these linoleum floors, or floors in general, or T-shirts, or scuba tanks, or septum piercings, or Yu-gi-oh cards, or lava lamps, or skin cells, or tattoos. . ." and at that point somebody would chime in and be like, "But you have tattoos on your face." And he'd be like "YOU GETS BEHEADED NOWWWW." o________o;;

2. Do you think 2 is hot? How hot?
- No, not really. Nobody in that story is hot. I mean, some of them are attractive, but none of them are like "OHYERRSOSEXY." At all.

3. 12 sends 8 on a mission. What is it, and does it succeed?
Grethe would send Eirik on a mission to kill himself.
Eirik would proceed to chug as much mead as possible, thus succeeding in killing himself by way of alcohol poisoning.

4. What is or would be 9’s favorite book?
Uhhhh. If he were alive in an age where there were books, he wouldn't read.

5. Would it make more sense for 2 to swear
Yeah, and he does swear. Not as much as Calhoun, but still.

6. For whatever reason, 5 is looking for a roommate. Should 5 share a studio apartment with 9 or with 10?
Neither. I don't think he likes Vikings that much, for Hallthor. And for Dunraz. . .Dunraz is just weirder than Derek would like.

7. 2, 7, and 12 have dinner together. Where do they go, and what do they discuss?
They would go to EPCOT's Norway food land. Derek would wonder why he kept being brought into all of this. They would probably talk about why they were all there.

8. 3 challenges 10 to a duel. What happens?
Tony is probably joking. Or drunk. Or both. Either way, Dunraz keelz him promptly.

9.If 1 stole 8’s most precious possession, how would 8 get it back?
Um, I don't think Calhoun would ever steal anything from a big, drunken Viking, but if he did, Eirik would promptly kill Calhoun.

10. Suggest a title for a story in which 7 and 12 both attain what they most desire.
- "The story about hot gay viking sex with some pedophilia mingled into it and then also a jotun queen lady winning the war and finally being loved by her family, because she's just the junior queen and no one ever loved her, at least not as much as the high queen."


11. What kind of plot device would you use if you wanted 4 and 1 to work together?
I would turn back time and Derek would never have told Bjorn about Calhoun's horrible secret and maybe then Calhoun wouldn't have hated Bjorn so much because he's not that bad of a guy, and yeah.

12. If 7 visited you for the weekend, how would you get along?
Okayishly. He'd be all manly and crap, and I'd be like, pass me the peanut butter, and he'd be like, pass me the mead, and I'd be like, 'kay, how's stuff going with that pretty boy? and he'd be like, wtf why would you ask me that you know exactly how stuff is going you're the author. And I'd be like, technically, I'm the co-author.

13. If you could command 3 to perform any one task or service for you, what would it be?
Do something with your hair, it's ugly.

14. Does anyone on your friends list write or draw anything regarding 11?
Ummm, no.

15. If 2 had to choose sides between 4 and 5, which would it be?
Aw, that'd be tough. Probably Ambjorn.

16. What might 10 shout while charging into battle?
Dunraz is more of a lover than a fighter. . .;D
Well I mean, he's actually just not that much of a fighter.
He talks to birds.
Like, he makes bird sounds in his throat.

17. If you chose a song to represent 8, which song would you choose?
"Beer Beer" by Korpiklaani. I kid you not.
That song is him. It's like they wrote it specially for Eirik or something.

18. 1, 6, and 12 are having dim sum at a Chinese restaurant. There is only one scallion pancake left, and they all reach for it at the same time. Who gets to eat it?
Well, Calhoun probably wouldn't have been eating it in the first place. Jenki would be pissed as fuck if he didn't get his damn scallion pancake or whatever. Grethe would scream obscenities at Jenki at the top of her lungs if she didn't get it, so I guess she wins.

19. What might be a good pick-up line for 2 to use on 10?
. . .LOL.

Derek: Chirp chirp chirp.
Dunraz: I'M IN LOOOOOOVE.

20. What would 5 most likely be arrested for?
Public drunkenness.

21. What is 6’s secret?
I guess the fact that he's a hell spawn or whatever.

22. If 11 and 9 were racing to a destination, who would get there first?
Dood I'onno.

23. If you had to walk home through a bad neighborhood late at night, would you feel safer in the company of 7 or 8?
Baldr, 'cause he's like, trustworthy. I'd be afraid of being alone at night with Eirik.
Liek, AHHHH SOMEONE HALP MAH VAGINA IT GETZ KEEL'D. D':

24. 1 and 9 reluctantly team up to save the world from the threat posed by 4’s sinister secret organization. 11 volunteers to help them, but it is later discovered that he is actually a spy for 4. Meanwhile, 4 has kidnapped 12 in an attempt to force their surrender. Following the wise advice of 5, they seek out 3, who gives them what they need to complete their quest. What title would you give this fic?
Um, whut.
I would call it
"The story that made so little sense not even I could follow the plotline."